When I entered graduate school, I was admitted as an MLS-only student. In order to sign up for the dual degree program, I have to submit a new "personal goals statement" of 500+ words on my "academic and career objectives." What is written in the essay is basically moot. I am literally signing up to give the school more money. So even if I wrote the essay in Pig Latin, Rhonda in Administration would add me to the list and send me on my merry way. This does not give me the best incentive to take my writing seriously. So I opened up Word to a blank document, tabbed the blinking cursor over to start a new paragraph, and looked at Sweetie expectantly to dictate my 500 words of greatness.
A smattering of his theses:
I was a silly person for enrolling in the library science program, for it is my dream to have a career that will not be obsolete in five years.
I dream of owning an onsen. In order to open this onsen, I have to make money. Librarians don’t make money. Systems Analysts do.
Libraries just aren’t enough of a challenge. I need to manage something bigger. Like programmers’ egos.
Most of my peers in the library science program say they entered the profession because they “love books” and “want to help people.” I hate books. I hate people more.
Obviously, this approach needs some tweaking.
And I have now written almost as much as is required in the actual essay.