Surprise!

I've been keeping something under wraps lately. You may have wondered why I haven't been posting much (well, besides those things called "school" and "work" I'm constantly whining about). But there's something a little more long-term...


It's a girl! Well, that's what the OB-GYN says. I can't tell whether she's a human or a rabbit from this...all animals basically look the same at this point. Heck, she may still have gills. We just found out last week, so I haven't had time to feel out what this parasite latched on to my uterus really is. All I associate my bundle of joy with right now is the return of my acid reflux.

I wonder about the error rate for sex determination this early, because I was really hoping for a boy. I like little girls better than little boys (you know, sugar & spice vs. snakes & snails and all that) but come adolescence? All genders get into some sort of trouble as teenagers, but boys are obvious about it. They advertise their screw-ups. Teenage girls, on the other hand, are sly. They don't just rebel--the rebel and feel shame about it. So they hold secrets, think thoughts not even they know they're thinking. I know because I once was one. Hence, how I ended up with a rabbit/alien hybrid floating around in there.

I have no idea how we're going to pull this off. She's due around September 3rd (happy birthday, Dad!) but I was supposed to be starting my second year of grad school then. I don't want to raise a baby on government loans! We barely have enough to feed the cat! And to think, I stopped birth control to save money each month. Well, this is a good excuse to stop with just the MLS and not have to take any more classes with people like she-who-should-not-be-trusted-to-code-security-for-bank-accounts. I really need to come up with a shorter nick-name for that professor. But if I just truncate it to she-who-should-not-be-trusted she sounds much more sinister than she is. It would be more accurate to call her she-who-thinks-SQL-is-"actual code" or she-who-thinks-graduate-students-are-still-in-high-school. Grr.

Speaking of names, we have to come up with one of those, too. Sweetie's always been fond of "Rebecca," but that name makes me think of mentally unstable, superstitious wives covering up for their cradle-robbing, murderous husbands. Since she kind of looks like a rabbit, what do you think of "Usagi"? We've always been Sailor Moon fans. By the way, Radio Nintendo announced today that from now on they're shifting focus from video game music to Sailor Moon 24/7. Yay! Of course, the kid'd start hating us the first day of Kindergarten, when the teacher spends five minutes trying to pronounce her name and the other kids resent the attention. We'll use it as a middle name, then. Traditionally, my family gives the first-born a middle name from one of the grandparents, but both biological grandmothers have two-word first names and that could get awkward.

Anyway, we have five months to think about that. Since that's plenty of time, I think I'll put the baby on the back burner for now. Sure, I'll take those little vitamins and, like, save some cash for a crib, but women have been giving birth for centuries without all this excessive doctoring during pregnancy. A 20% infant mortality rate wasn't that bad. So I'll be taking a leaf from Sweetie's book for a few months at least. He's already forgotten about the baby. He's eating cup ramen and drinking Mountain Dew in his boxers while listening to Sailor Moon radio as I type. I too have more pressing concerns, like churning out a paper by noon Sunday and social drinking "networking" with ALA members at the bar tonight. I think I'll haul around some heavy furniture, too.

We're going to be the best parents ever.